Empty Nest, Full Breakdown

Turns out, I wasn’t as fine as I thought…

I really believed my empty nesting experience was going smoothly.
Just this weekend, someone asked how I was doing, and I said,
“Oh, it’s really going great — this empty nesting thing hasn’t been bad at all!”

And to be fair, that's true.
I’m excited about this next chapter as a life coach.
I have space to dedicate to something meaningful.
There’s more time to exercise, eat better, and be with family and friends.
I talk with my kids often — and we see each other regularly.

So honestly? I wasn’t feeling too sad about it.

But then…

I heard a little boy next door laughing and having the best time in the backyard.

And the tears came.
Full-on tears.

What was THAT all about?

Here’s what came up:

• I realized things will never be the same. (well, that's probably obvious)

• I felt regret for focusing so much on "getting things checked off the list" — you know the cooking, carpool, homework, endless tasks we parents have;

• I felt a longing to go back and enjoy my kids — to not be so uptight and watch their awe, wonder, silliness.
  (And yes, I know it wasn’t like that all the time…)

But the truth is, in that moment (and most of the day) I was sad.

The coach part of my brain tried to jump in with a reframe and focus on the positives — and there are plenty:
“They’re doing great. They’re growing into amazing humans.
This new season brings real joy too.”

But the problem is, I was trying to do an "emotional bypass."

Brooke Castillo, a life coach I really like, talks about how life is 50/50 — 50% positive, 50% negative.
If that’s true, then why are we so surprised when life gets hard even when we think we're humming along?

What if the best way to access the 50% positive… is to stop fighting the negative?

What if the truth is, the more we resist the hard parts — rush them, judge them, try to move on too quickly — the worse we feel for longer. 

So I decided I didn’t need to fix it.
I didn’t to judge myself. 
I just let the wave roll in… and trusted it would roll back out.

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2 Minute Transformation 

What about you?

Is there a part of your identity you're starting to outgrow?
A role, habit, or way of being that doesn’t quite fit anymore?

It doesn’t have to be a big milestone like an empty nest.
Maybe it’s something smaller — a shift in identity, a role that no longer fits, or a way of being you're ready to let go of.

Sometimes transformation doesn’t start with a big change — it starts with noticing.

Take two minutes to think about it.
Jot down whatever comes to mind — on a notepad, in your phone, or on a scrap of paper.
No need to overthink it. You can even throw it away after.

Sometimes just naming it is the shift.

My kids at about the age of the little boy giggling next door and today.

(This is one of the most hilarious photos because Matthew & Roderick were so irritated about dressing up while Elie thought it was the best thing ever.)